“What did you play for fun when you were a kid?”
My 11-year-old son was on “electronic probation” at the time he asked me that questions. It got us into a fun conversation about what I DID do, but also got me thinking about the role technology has played into our lives … and our relationships with others.
Technology does have its place in developing relationships, and here are just a few ways in which it does:
- Nurturing Long-Distance Relationships – Services such as Skype and Face Time have allowed long-distance relationships to thrive. Military families can keep in touch with their loved ones, and high school sweethearts attending separate colleges can still develop their blooming relationship. A recent paper published in the Journal of Communication found that people in long-distance relationships often have stronger bonds from more constant, and deeper, communication than normal relationships.
- Chilling Out – Angry Birds, Candy Crush, Flappy Birds or whatever your gaming preferences are, these easily accessible games on smart phones, gaming devices, etc. can allow something to chill out after a stressful day. I know I’m easier to deal with when I have a little one-on-one date with my Angry Birds.
- Laughter – From funny cat videos to silly memes, technology has provided a great source of entertainment and a great belly laugh. I love connecting with my kids over something funny or silly I’ve found on the internet. What’s your favorite YouTube video?
- Making the World Smaller – Remember waiting for a letter for your Pen Pail in the mail? (Am I dating myself again?) How about having that foreign exchange student you lost contact with because the mail was too slow and calling was too expensive? Various forms of technology allow us to connect with people around the world. I met one of my dear friends in Brussels, Belgium in 1998. She now lives in Tokyo, Japan. We’ve remained good friends over the decades thanks to email, Facebook, and Line.
- Just Because I’m Thinking of You – When my husband and I were dating, we’d commonly send “I love you” and “I love you too” text messages to each other in the morning. Even with life, kids, a career, etc. we still take the time to send those little reminders at random times just to let the other know they are being thought of. It always puts a smile on my face!
With all its wonders, I also challenge you to take a good look at when and how technology hinders and/or helps your relationships with others. Here are some ideas to get you thinking:
- Helps – Send a text to your friends and family to wish them a Happy Valentine’s Day. Hinders – Only communicate with your friends and family by text on special holidays rather than picking up the phone, sending a special card, or visiting them in person; Grandma does not get a Valentine’s Day greeting from you because she doesn’t have a cell phone.
- Helps – Smart phone helps you Yelp a restaurant for you and your date for Valentine’s Day, maps the route to the restaurant, and posts your location on Facebook. Hinders – Smart phone beeps texts from your old boyfriend or girlfriend wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day along with pop-up reminders from friends commenting on your Facebook post; your date is called on their own cell phone during dinner by his/her BFF and chats for 10 minutes right as the meal is served.
- Helps – Family chills after a home Valentine’s Day dinner with their various iPads, iPods, smart phone, computer, etc. devices to settle down from the day; Family shares videos, pictures, news, etc. from their individual device with others. Hinders – Family members continue to focus only on their individual devices and lose out on an opportunity to connect with other family members on Valentine’s Day.
In answering my 11-year-old’s original question, I thought about my use of technology as a child. My experience with computers at his age was with an old TRS-80 (computer) that I loaded with a noisy audio tape just to play a game of checkers. (Yes, I’m that old, and it took at least 10 minutes to boot up the computer and game!) Playing cards or hopscotch was fun. Yes, my dear son, I did have plenty of wonderful things to do when I was a child that didn’t involve technology.
With a spin-off of the old story book, Goodnight Moon, Goodnight iPad is a wonderful book for all of us to read. Technology has provided so much wealth to our lives. And, yet, when do we know when to shut it off?
Do you manage your technology, or does it manage you? How so does it help or hinder the relationships in your life?
